Yeah, I know... nothing is permanent, and everything changes, but it would be nice to not have things change quite so radically.

I feel a bit guilty tonight.  Blake, my son Kyle's best friend, told me that his father has a job interview to be a prison guard in California.  If he gets the job, he's going to take it (because there is more money involved than if he were to stay here in CO and get a prison guard job here... money is the sole motivating factor), and so Blake will be relocating.  (Blake's older brother is going to be 18 soon and so is going to be able to stay behind with their grandfather.)  Blake is extremely upset by this; Kyle doesn't know yet since Blake asked me to not say anything to him about it... he wants to tell him himself.

Obviously I'm upset for Blake, but on a more selfish note, I'm also upset for what Kyle will end up going through.  At the end of 6th grade, he made the comment that he didn't know why he bothered to get to know people if they were only going to leave his life anyway... in that situation he was talking about his teachers that he'd gotten attached to.  Kyle has attachment issues anyway, so I can only imagine what this will be like for Kyle.  Add to it that Kyle has never gotten this attached to anyone outside of the family, and it promises to be a really rough time for everyone concerned.

I have to admit, I'm really hoping that he doesn't get the CA job.  I feel like a jerk for feeling that way, but I can't help it.  I feel badly for Blake and I am dreading the impact on Kyle.

*sigh*  I can only pray that this will work out the best for everyone involved in the situation.

Wish us luck.

Today was the first day of the Boulder Farmer's Market for this year.  It felt so good to be there again, and I indulged in some amazing products, including some cheese and AMAZING worcestershire sauce from new vendors.

Lamar, Kyle, Blake and I had a wonderful time today.  The boys loved going... Kyle was so excited he could hardly contain his energy... I hadn't realized how much he loved going.  :-)  After we were able to stop by Tibet Gallery, only to find out that Tenzin, the owner and one of the most amazing men I've ever met, will be back tomorrow (he's been overseas for about a month, and I've missed him terribly).

It's such an amazing thing to be so close to the source of our food, and we are truly blessed to live in an area that has a market like this one.  I'm SO excited!!! :-)

Lester Brown has posted a copy of his new book, Plan B 3.0, dealing with global climate change and offering practical solutions, on his website.  You can order it in hardback or paperback, or download it for free.  Now THAT'S what I call outstaning... he obviously considers it more important to have the information out there than worry about what is in his bank account.  I admit that I did download a free copy, but as soon as I have the cash, I'm going to buy at least one copy for myself... and likely some for others as gifts.

If you want to go check it out, go here.  The free download is here.

And... umm.. there's only 12 days left to help me raise $300 for yoga gear (mats, straps, blocks, videos) for the kids on my climbing team... I want to give each kid on the team their own set of gear so they can continue to do yoga this summer, and for my senior, so he can continue to do it after high school.  So far I've gotten $34 donated towards my goal... any little bit helps, so if you can, please head here and donate.  :-)

Thanks!!

Took my bike out for its first ride of the season, and it felt SO good!  I'm definitely not as in shape as I would like to be, but I'm in better shape than I thought I was, so that was a bonus.  I was only out for about 30-45 minutes and I kept a pretty moderate pace, so I'm pretty pleased with the way my ride went.  It's going to be a good season, I think! :-)

Yeah, so...

Even though drinking two Sambazon Amazon Energy drinks might seem like a good idea at the time when you are drinking them,  it really isn't all that smart when it all comes down to it, especially if you have to work the next morning, and especially if people around you will notice that you are suddenly unable to stop talking, even when you are trying really hard to talk at what could be considered a normal rate of speed.

Typing in a blog isn't that easy either, no matter how fast you think you can type.

Just thought I'd let the world know... not that I would know that personally or anything.

*ahem*

Just submitted my first blog entry to Elephant Journal.  I was invited to join their blog last week and jumped on the chance.  Entry number one was about a trip to a raw milk dairy. I took Kyle, Blake and two kids from the climbing team up there on Saturday.  I really think it's important for my own children to have some sense of connection to their food source, and the other boys wanted to go just to check it out.

I'll just post a few pics here, but for a full report and more pics, you'll have to go to the Elephant Journal site once it's up.  (I'll post the link here, of course.)


Oh yeah... if you are looking to get your hands on one of those spiffy Elephant shirts like Blake and I are wearing, you can go here to get one.



The drive was a little on the long side, but totally worth it once we got there.  When the calf that Kyle was petting began to moo (it was feeding time), Kyle's "awww... her first words!" made the whole drive totally worth it.  :-)

The caption says it all.  :-D

Yet another blowout with my youngest tonight.  After four years of struggling to change certain behaviors, he has shown no progress, no difference, no growth, and I feel that I'm at an end.  I emailed his former social worker tonight to ask for input and possible alternatives, but I honestly feel that I may not be the best choice for him as a parent, and so I am wondering if the best thing for him might be to have him removed from my home.  He denies that, and says that I am the best parent he's ever had, which I appreciate, but at the same time, I don't know if I AM the best parent for him... after four years, one would think there would be some change, but there hasn't been.  I've tried punishing, I've tried rewarding for the opposite behaviors, I've tried reasoning... nothing has worked, and I'm at a loss.

I feel completely useless, completely ineffective.





Oh yeah... happy birthday to me  (well.... tomorrow anyway).