Help
Sign In
Elephant Journal
October 2009 
Frustration with change
Posted on Apr 1st, 2008
by 
Phaedrus
Phaedrus
Yeah, I know... nothing is permanent, and everything changes, but it would be nice to not have things change quite so radically.
I feel a bit guilty tonight. Blake, my son Kyle's best friend, told me that his father has a job interview to be a prison guard in California. If he gets the job, he's going to take it (because there is more money involved than if he were to stay here in CO and get a prison guard job here... money is the sole motivating factor), and so Blake will be relocating. (Blake's older brother is going to be 18 soon and so is going to be able to stay behind with their grandfather.) Blake is extremely upset by this; Kyle doesn't know yet since Blake asked me to not say anything to him about it... he wants to tell him himself.
Obviously I'm upset for Blake, but on a more selfish note, I'm also upset for what Kyle will end up going through. At the end of 6th grade, he made the comment that he didn't know why he bothered to get to know people if they were only going to leave his life anyway... in that situation he was talking about his teachers that he'd gotten attached to. Kyle has attachment issues anyway, so I can only imagine what this will be like for Kyle. Add to it that Kyle has never gotten this attached to anyone outside of the family, and it promises to be a really rough time for everyone concerned.
I have to admit, I'm really hoping that he doesn't get the CA job. I feel like a jerk for feeling that way, but I can't help it. I feel badly for Blake and I am dreading the impact on Kyle.
*sigh* I can only pray that this will work out the best for everyone involved in the situation.
Wish us luck.
I feel a bit guilty tonight. Blake, my son Kyle's best friend, told me that his father has a job interview to be a prison guard in California. If he gets the job, he's going to take it (because there is more money involved than if he were to stay here in CO and get a prison guard job here... money is the sole motivating factor), and so Blake will be relocating. (Blake's older brother is going to be 18 soon and so is going to be able to stay behind with their grandfather.) Blake is extremely upset by this; Kyle doesn't know yet since Blake asked me to not say anything to him about it... he wants to tell him himself.
Obviously I'm upset for Blake, but on a more selfish note, I'm also upset for what Kyle will end up going through. At the end of 6th grade, he made the comment that he didn't know why he bothered to get to know people if they were only going to leave his life anyway... in that situation he was talking about his teachers that he'd gotten attached to. Kyle has attachment issues anyway, so I can only imagine what this will be like for Kyle. Add to it that Kyle has never gotten this attached to anyone outside of the family, and it promises to be a really rough time for everyone concerned.
I have to admit, I'm really hoping that he doesn't get the CA job. I feel like a jerk for feeling that way, but I can't help it. I feel badly for Blake and I am dreading the impact on Kyle.
*sigh* I can only pray that this will work out the best for everyone involved in the situation.
Wish us luck.
Access: Public
Hi Todd,
This post has been in my mind since i read it last night.
I had all the answers of advice to lay on you, but I
realized you are a wise man and already know it all.
The only thing I came up with to buff the pain of this transition
is for you to always wrap your arms around Kyle, and vow to him
that as long as it is within your power,
YOU will never leave him.
Hug Blake too & assure him that the transition will be a new
adventure for him. But it's always harder on the one who's left behind.
The person I really feel for in this is Blake's Dad.
He is the one that will have to be locked up like a prisoner for most of his time
to make a living to support his family. URG. what a life that is.
Blessings, and thanks for the thoughtful post.
Ladybear
Thank you so much for your comment. I also feel for Blake's dad, but at the same time, I know that this is his preferred work, and I could do it no more than he could teach (he's told me before he doesn't know whose job requires more bravery… ha ha!).
One positive side to this is that none of us take our time for granted, and even though Blake and I (and Kyle a little bit) are studying Buddhism together, and we know that nothing is permanent and that we should not take any moment for granted, at the same time, it is easy to forget that, and we have found that we have.
My period of selfishness has passed somewhat, and while I still hope that Blake does stay, at the same time, I know that everything happens for a reason. This will work itself out one way or another, and I'm sure that we will all be better for this experience.